Droning Around the Christmas Tree
by lalagirl16
Summary: Yes, I know it isn't Christmas. Dipper and Mabel have returned to Gravity Falls over Christmas Break…only to find themselves in one dilemma after another. Gideon hypnotizes Mabel to fall in love with him. While Dipper is on his way to save her, he also gets hypnotized by an old friend. With both of them hypnotized, who will save them? It may be the last person you expect...
1. Cardboard Boxes and The Fun Stick

** Lovely followers, readers, and such, I have started this fanfic early due to my writer's block on my fic, The Revenge of Blendin Blandin. Since it is currently on hiatus, I thought I should start the next one on my list to keep you guys entertained and laughing. And it might help get my creative juices flowing. Who's up for a Christmas fic in August?**

**Mabel: Me! I am! Do we get presents?**

**Me: No. I stole all your presents.**

**Stan: No I did!**

**Me: I know you did! I stole the presents from you after you stole them from Mabel!**

**Gideon: I believe these belong to you, my sweet… *hands Mabel her presents***

**Me: What? How did you get those?**

**Gideon: I stole them from you after you stole them from Stan, who had just stolen them from Mabel! **

**Mabel: And now I'm going to steal them from you, Gideon!**

**Gideon: Now watch me steal your heart!**

**Dipper: Yeah, that's likely.**

**Mabel: That's gross is what it is!**

**Gideon: *staring off into space* it would the perfect Christmas fic gift…**

**Soos: So…are you going to start, dude?**

**Me: Yeah, right after I steal the presents from Mabel.**

**Dipper: Why did she get presents? It's not even Christmas!**

**Me: Oh, they're not presents. They're just empty boxes. I once gave my brother an empty box for Christmas fic…**

**Mabel: Is Christmas fic a holiday?**

**Me: Um, sure. Merry Christmas fic everyone!**

Chapter 1

Dipper POV

This was it. The final showdown. I took a deep breath. _Okay, Dipper. Don't mess this up. You can win this. _I moved through the mouth of the cave. There was a screeching noise. _Oh no! Vampire bats! Just what I needed. _Punch…jump…dodge. _Okay, I did it. _ I kept moving closer and closer to the monster that lay ahead…

"DIPPER!" Mabel was knocking very loudly on the door of my room. _What did she want? _"DIPPER! OPEN THE DOOR!" I rolled my eyes. I paused the game and walked over to unlock the door. Mabel ran in and started jumping up and down very quickly.

"What is it, Mabel?" I sighed. "I'm kind of busy right now. This game is nearly impossible to beat."

"That can wait, Dippingsauce!" Mabel squealed. "You will never guess what! Guess what! Guess What!"

"Really, Mabel?" I asked, picking up my DS and starting to play the game again.

"Dipper! This is important! Now I need you to guess!" Mabel insisted. I groaned. I knew Mabel wouldn't leave me alone until I guessed.

"Um…they put Smile Dip back in stores?" I tried.

"Nope! Guess again!" Mabel answered.

"Uh…your kitten coughed up a hairball in the shape of a heart again?" I asked.

"No, but that was awesome!" Mabel said.

"If by awesome you mean disgusting…" I told her, shuddering at the memory. Mabel took an unnatural number of photos of that.

"Guess again!" Mabel sang.

"Mabel. I'm not going to guess again. So will you tell me or leave me alone? I need to get through this level!" I insisted, picking up my DS again.

"Why do guys just get sucked into those things? Looks pretty boring," Mabel said, watching me play.

"I don't know," I replied. "Why do girls get sucked into disturbing romantic comedies like Wolf Man Bare Chest?"

"Hey! Don't say things like that about Wolf Man Bare Chest! It's not disturbing, it's dreamy!" Mabel defended.

"Whatever, I said, focused on the game. _I'm almost to the boss…_

"Dipper, I'm sure what I'm guess-whatting you about is way more exciting to you than that stupid game," Mabel told me.

"Fine! What is it then!" I asked Mabel, getting annoyed.

"Are you ready for this?" Mabel asked me. I nodded with aggravation. "WE'RE GOING BACK TO GRAVITY FALLS OVER CHRISTMAS BREAK, DIPPER! WE LEAVE IN TWO DAYS!"

"Oh my gosh, really?" I jumped up off the floor in excitement. "Are you serious? You're not just pulling my leg?"

"I'm dead serious!" Mabel sang, skipping around my room.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked Mabel.

"Mom and Dad just told me! That's why I came rushing to your room! Because I knew you would be even more excited then I was!" Mabel told me.

"I just can't believe we are going back!" I exclaimed. "I mean, Mom and Dad don't think Grunkle Stan was such a good influence on us, so I'm surprised they're sending us back so quickly, or even sending us back at all!"

"Well, I'm just that adorable, broseph!" Mabel smiled.

"Wait, you got them do this?" I asked Mabel.

"Yeperdoodle!" Mabel sang. "I put it on the top of my wish list and bedazzled all the letters and put a bunch of big pink arrows pointing to it. And Mom and Dad can't resist my cuteness! Oh, and I told them if they didn't let us go, Waddles would be very sad. So we kind of owe it to Waddles' cuteness too."

"At least you didn't call me cute," I mumbled.

"Oh, you are, you just didn't help!" Mabel teased. I poked her with "The Fun Stick."

"Hey!" Mabel yelled, poking me back with her finger. As our poking war continued, I was thinking about Gravity Falls. Ever since we had left, life just seemed too…boring. I missed hunting monsters and solving mysteries. I missed the pine needle smell and the unearthly amount of woodpeckers. I missed my Great Uncle and working at the Mystery Shack. But now…we were going back! I then noticed Mabel was waving her arm in front of my face.

"Thinking about how much you miss Wendy, Dipper?" Mabel asked with a mischievous smile.

"Stop it!" I said, poking her with "The Fun Stick" again. Mabel giggled and skipped toward the door.

"Want to help me choose what sweaters to bring?" she asked.

"Whatever." I followed her out the door to dig through her mountain of sweaters piled up in her bedroom. I didn't care that picking Mabel's sweaters was extremely boring. I was in the best mood I had been since we came back to Piedmont.

**Chapter one complete! Please review! Wait no…that sounds too nice. REVIEW IF YOU DON'T WANT TO DIE A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH BY FUN STICK POKING AND STEALING OF YOUR CARDBOARD BOX MULTIPLE TIMES. **

**Dipper: Quite the threat there.**

**Me: Thanks, I'm flattered. **


	2. A Bath of Squirrels

** Thanks for everyone who favorited and followed already! So, I thought I would put up another chapter, just for you! Sorry it took a bit. I ran out of bedazzler guns after murdering everyone who didn't review the last chapter with their sparkliness. And they take forever to be delivered. **

**Mabel: I know! It's like seriously people! It is of imperative that bedazzler guns are delivered promptly!**

**Me: Uh…say that in English please.**

**Mabel: Delivery people need to be less lazy when delivering bedazzler guns!**

**Gideon: I agree. More people should appreciate the…sparkly things in life.**

**Mabel: Gideon! Don't say what I'm thinking! It makes us sound like we're in sync and we are NOT.**

**Gideon: Oh…we will be…**

**Dipper: All in favor of making Gideon shut up, say "I"**

**Everyone in the whole universe except Gideon: I!**

**Waddles: Oink!**

**Gompers the Goat: MAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!**

**Me: Gideon, shut up.**

**Gideon: *pouts***

**Me: Let's start the chapter!**

**Mabel: Good idea!**

Chapter 2

Mabel's POV

**Mabel: Good idea!**

**Me: Just let me start!**

**Mabel: Oh, right…sorry.**

I lifted my sweater-filled suitcase off the ground and walked over to where the bus had pulled up. I got so excited, I felt like my whole body was full of bubbles!

"Dipper! Look! It's here! It's here! I'm so excited! I can't wait!" I sang, skipping over to board the bus. Dipper looked up from "3" and tucked it into his duffel bag.

"Alright, Mabel! Calm down! I'm coming!" he said, picking up his duffel bag and walking toward the bus. Calm down? He wanted me to calm down? But this was the most wonderful-fun filled-awesome day ever! It's just like Dips to want to ruin a perfect moment to be hyper with his boringness. We found two seats and waited for the bus to depart. Some other people boarded the bus. It felt like we had been waiting for like, hours. Waiting is just too boring!

"Are you excited, Dipper? Cuz I am!" I squealed as the bus finally closed its door and pulled away from the bus station. "BYE MOM! BYE DAD!" I yelled through the window, waving my arms wildly at them. They waved back to me, which made me smile. Dipper merely face-palmed.

"I guessing that you are excited to go back to Gravity Falls," Dipper commented.

""Oh my gosh yes!" I told Dipper. "Nothing's more fun than being kidnapped by a bunch of gnomes and stuff!"

"Did you mean that sarcastically?" Dipper asked.

"Nope!" I answered. "I mean, nothing cool like that happens at home!"

"That's true," Dipper said. "I'm excited to go back too. I mean there's nothing I don't really like about gravity Falls, except well…"

"Gideon." Dipper and I spat at the same time. I wondered if he was still in jail.

"Well, let's not think about how horrible he is and spoil this exciting moment!" I told Dipper. "Let's play bus seat scavenger hunt or something!"

"Okay, Mabel," Dipper sighed, straightening his pine tree hat. He hadn't worn that hat in a while. In fact, I didn't think he had worn it since our last day in Gravity Falls! It was his monster-hunting hat.

_One very long bus ride later…_

"…And that is why there are wool socks!" I finished. I looked over at Dipper to ask him what his opinion was, but he was snoring.

"Stop #3! Gravity Falls, Oregon!" the bus driver said over the loud speaker. Dipper was instantly awake.

"Come on, Mabel!" Dipper yelled, grabbing his luggage.

"Coming!" I yelled, also jumping up and grabbing my suitcase. We eagerly left the bus, and looked around. The ground was covered with a thin layer of snow. They still hadn't fixed that hole in the "Welcome to Gravity Falls" sign. Dipper wasn't very good at driving the Mystery Cart, but that was really fun!

"Let's start walking to the Mystery Shack, Mabel. It's could out here!" Dipper said.

"That's why I wore a sweater!" I sang. Dipper rolled his eyes.

Jeff's POV

"Yeah, just dump for squirrels over to the right of the tub, I told Carson. "Yes! Perfect! Oh, one got away there, Steve! Go catch him! Wait! Stop hold everything! Is that, Mabel over there by the bus stop? Men! Our queen has finally returned! Prepare the troops! We will not fail this time!"

"Shmebulock!" Shmebulock yelled.

"Yeah, how about you just stay here, Shmebulock," I sighed. He's just so annoying and uncivilized.

"Your squirrel bath is ready, Jeff!" Jason announced. Oh good! I'll work on our battle plan to win back our queen later!

**Return of the gnomes! DUN DUN DUN! **

**Mabel: *giggling* Hey, I was gonna say that!**

**Shmebulock: SHMEBULOCK!**

**Mabel and me: …**

**Mabel: Just gonna ignore that.**

**Me: DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW OR SUFFER DE CONCEQUENCES! Sorry that this chapter was so short, the next one will be longer.**


	3. Another Layer of Hairspray

** YAY! AN UPDATE! YAY! FOR AN UPDATE! Here is my third chapter just for you!**

**Mabel: Yay!**

**Me: Yay!**

**Mabel: Yay!**

**Me: Yay!**

**Old Man Mcgucket: YAAAHOOO! WOOOHOO…uh I'll go!**

**Mabel: So the gnomes are back huh? What an interesting plot twist!**

**Me: Thank you! Now let's start!**

**Mabel: Okey dokey!**

Chapter 3

Dipper's POV

I trudged and Mabel skipped through the snow as we approached the Mystery Shack. As we got closer, we saw a certain kid with big white hair standing on the doorstep. I whispered to Mabel to duck down in the bushes. Stan was standing in the doorway. We leaned in to listen to what was going on.

"Yes, Stanford! I have cursed Egyptian termites again! But this time, I'm not going to fall for that 'look behind you!' trick of yours! Oh no! Now bring Mabel to me or they will devour the shack!"

"Gideon, how could you be so stupid? Mabel isn't here! She doesn't live here! They were just staying for the summer and she left a long time ago! Where have you been?"

"IN JAIL NO THANKS TO YOU! AND I'M GOING TO GET MY REVENGE! AND WHEATHER MABEL'S HERE OR NOT, I'M RELEASING THE TERMITES!"

That was it. Time to interfere. I stood up and walked and stood behind Gideon, who was trying to open the jar of termites by twisting it the wrong way. Stan saw me and smirked.

"Hey, Gideon," he said. "Look out behind you!" Gideon giggled.

"You really think I'm falling for that, Stanford?" he laughed. I leaped in front of Gideon and punched him. "Ow! Get of me!"

"Well, in my defense I did warn you!" Stan laughed as I continued to beat up Gideon. I pinned him to the ground. Gideon dropped his jar of termites.

"Fun fact about Cursed Egyptian termites…" I said. "Besides wood, they also like hairspray!"

"NO NOT AGAIN!" Gideon cried.

"Oh, and you were supposed to twist it counter-clockwise…" I went on, opening the jar and pouring over his head. The termites started nipping away at Gideon's hair.

"No! I will not be outsmarted by a weak young boy!" Gideon cried.

"I'm three years older than you." I said matter of factly, and walked toward the Mystery Shack. Mabel ran out of the bushes and attacked me with a hug.

"Oh, and Gideon!" Stan called to Gideon as he ran off into the forest. "Stop sending me love letters! It's really creepy!"

**TRANSITION!**

"Isn't this exciting, Dipper?" Mabel asked, all bubbled up with energy. "We're moving back into the attic and we'll go on adventures and get super cold! It will awesome!"

"Not so sure about the getting super cold part, but the rest I agree with! It's seems like it's been decades since we were here!" I said, looked around the attic with satisfaction. I had really missed this place. These were going to be the best two weeks I had had in months.

"We better head downstairs, Stan's probably almost finished with the tour, so we'll need to set up the gift shop!" Mabel said. I smiled. Even working sounded fun right now. Was this what Mabel's whole life was like?

"Yeah, and we'll get to see Soos and Wendy again!" I added. Mabel smiled mischievously.

""You're really excited to see Wendy, right broseph?" she giggled. I rolled my eyes.

"Let's just head downstairs…"

Gideon's POV

I was in the bathroom, fixing up my hair. That Pines boy was back, and it was his fault that my hair was like this, that I went to jail, and that I didn't have all three books and a gateway to unimaginable power! A piece of my hair flopped down on my face.

"STUPID TERMITES!" I yelled, spraying on another layer of hairspray. There was nothing I wanted more than getting revenge on Dipper Pines. Well, that and winning Mabel's heart. I had only been out of jail for two days, and today, I saw the two things that I wanted, right there in front of me, but I couldn't do anything.

"If only I had my journal…" I mumbled. I tried to remember something, anything that would pop into my head. Some page in my memory from the countless times I read that journal cover to cover, searching for ways to exact my revenge on the Pines. Then I remembered something. Of course! It was perfect! I was saving it for just the right moment, and now it was all I had. Mabel loved me. Of that I was sure. I just needed to…help her along…

**Dipper: Now that was writing! I got to beat up Gideon!**

**Mabel: You've done that before! You saved me from the giant robot thingy he made!**

**Me: What a season finale…**

**Mabel: You should have written in the part where Dipper saw Wendy again and he just froze in an awkward smile! And he laughed for waaaaaaayyyyy to long at all her jokes and stuff.**

**Dipper: Mabel!**

**Me: I'll update soon!**

**Mabel: Lots of Dipper being dorky around Wendy, the love of his life!**

**Dipper: Stop it, Mabel!**

**Me: Forget Wendy! You have plenty of fangirls out there to choose from! But be careful…some can get a bit…creepy…**

**Mabel: Look who's talking!**

**Me: I like to talk! I also like ice cream and writing fanfiction!**

**Mabel: We already know that.**

**Me: How are you psychic?**

**Mabel: No, I read your profile!**

**Me: Oh. That makes more sense.**


	4. Waddles Needs Stage Time

** Another chapter Yay! I know you are all happy to see this! You all love me right? Right? I keep telling myself that, anyway.**

**Mabel: Okey-dokey! Let's get started! Waddles is getting excited!**

**Me: Why? He's not in this fanfic. Except the time you mentioned him in chapter one…but he's not coming back**

**Mabel: Why not? He should be!**

**Me: File it to the complaints department.**

**Mabel: Oh yeah? Well, I bet everyone who reads this will leave a review saying that they want him in.**

**Me: Yeah, that's likely. **

**Mabel: Of course it is! You know, advanced studies show that Waddles is the cutest pig in the world and shouldn't be left out of any fanfic!**

**Me: I would ask you to prove it, but I really don't want you to explain all the "Advanced" stuff so I'll just take your word for it.**

**Mabel: SO YOU'LL PUT HIM IN?**

**Me: Uh…nope**

**Mabel: *walks over to Dipper and whispers something in his ear***

**Dipper: Lalagirl16, put Waddles in the fanfic**

**Me: OKAY!**

**Mabel: I knew that would work!**

**Dipper: But how are you going to make that work?**

**Me: I don't know…he did ride with you guys on the bus…so he's still at the house…so…uh…I'll figure something out**

Chapter 4

Dipper's POV

"So then I was like, 'Shut up Robbie and eat the waffle!'" I laughed and laughed, then noticed everyone was looking at me. Oh. I sat up straight and repositioned my hat, trying to ignore the awkward silence. I had been laughing for far too long. I didn't hear the rest of Wendy's story because I kept glaring at Mabel, who was cracking up inside and making a heart with her hands.

"Hey Grunkle Stan!" Mabel suddenly called through the house. "I'm off to go buy some presents!"

"Why are you telling me?" Stan asked from somewhere in the house.

"I dunno," Mabel replied. "Just so you know I guess."

"Kid, I don't really care. Just don't get yourself killed. Spare me the funeral bills and the yelling from your parents." Stan called back.

"Okay!" Mabel called back. "Either of you wanna come?" she asked Wendy and I.

"Nah," I said. "That's okay."

"Sorry, I have to get back to work before Stan realizes that I'm still on my five minute break after two hours." Mabel giggled and skipped out the door. Wendy walked back into the gift shop, and I was alone.

I looked around a bit to see if the coast was clear, then lay down on the couch to read journal 3. It had been a while since I had read it, mostly because I was trying to forget everything I was missing, but now I needed to find something to search for or study. I don't know how much time passed, but while I was almost finished reading about Maraca Owls, I heard the doorbell ring. I put my journal away as I heard Stan coming down the stairs to answer the door. That was odd. Stan was usually too lazy to do that. He must have been coming downstairs anyway.

As soon as Stan opened the door, I recognized who was at the door. He had pale skin, a black hoodie, and…jam…on his face.

"Uh…" he said in his scratchy low voice. "Is Mabel here?" Stan raised his eyebrow and looked him over.

"Are you that guy she dated at the beginning of last summer? Norman is it?"

"I'll handle this Grunkle Stan," I said, standing up. "You can go back to whatever you were doing. Stan walked back upstairs mumbling something I couldn't make out. I leaned in close to "Norman" and grabbed his hoodie. "Alright, Jeff. What's going on?"

"Um…my name is…Norman," he mumbled. I rolled my eyes and pushed him over. The gnomes crawled out from under the hoodie and stood in a straight line to face me. Jeff stepped in front of the other gnomes and motioned to them with his head. The gnomes made two towers for Jeff to climb up, until he stood on top to look me in the eye.

"Okay. You cleverly figured out our disguise. But you are still overpowered! Now hand over your sister! She is the only girl worthy of being our queen! Except for that one with the lovely white hair…but anyway! You are surrounded! Hand her over!" I stared at him blankly.

"Am I going to have to bring out the leaf blower again?" I asked, unimpressed.

"You wouldn't dare…" Jeff breathed, narrowing his eyes.

"Um…yeah I would. In fact I'll go get it right now if you guys don't beat it." I threatened.

"Fine!" Jeff said, climbing down a tower of gnomes. "But this isn't over…" Then they retreated out the door and into the forest. Those gnomes were pretty annoying. And I just didn't get why they felt a need for a monarchy. I thought Jeff ran a fairly good dictatorship.

Gideon's POV

I saw my sweet skipping through the woods, probably on her way into town. I smiled and rubbed my hands together, thinking of the little jar in my left pocket that would change my life, (and my marshmella's life!) for the better. Plus, maybe I would also get my revenge on that Dipper Pines. I still had to figure that part out. Though I hated to admit it, he was annoyingly clever. I giggled a little. But not clever enough to protect his sister! I tied my scarf a little tighter as I followed my Mabel from a distance in the mall, thinking of all the wonderful things that would come from my brilliant plan.

Jeff's POV

I paced back and forth in front of all the gnomes of the forest, preparing to start my pep talk. "Gnomes of the forest!" I started. "Do not think of Operation GQWSCTD or Operation Grab Queen When She Comes To The Door as a failure. Think of it as the start of something bigger! A bigger plan! For, although I didn't tell you this, I meant for that plan to fail all along. That was on purpose. Now the boy thinks we are weak! We won't expect us to try again! We'll have to keep a close eye on are queen and catch her when he isn't around! And then our gnome community will be complete!" Lots of applause erupted from the audience. I knew we could do this. Mabel would not leave me at the alter ever again. She would be mine, and we would rule our part of the forest side by side! And nothing could go wrong!

_Meanwhile…_

Waddles poked at the strange piece of fabric with his foot. It was a smelly sock! He sniffed it with his snout and tilted his head in curiosity. Then he picked it up in his mouth, trotted over to Mabel's room, and dropped it on the floor. A Christmas Gift. Then he hopped onto her bed and fell asleep.

**Okay, There. I made that work.**

**Mabel: Sorta. But Waddles was hoping for a bigger role**

**Me: At least I found a way to write him in**

**Mabel: Well, you could write in that a portal teleports him to the Mystery Shack!**

**Me: …**

**REVIEW! Oh and please nominate me in the 2013 Gravity Falls Fanfiction Awards! If you don't know what that is it's by GrapplingHook so check it out. I'd really like to win a humor title. Or you could just ignore this! Okay! Til next update!**

**-Lalagirl16**


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